Reaching a Fatherless Nation: Perspective from a Social Worker
James Layton
Reaching The Fatherless
John Smith, 12, lives with his mother Shelley. He is somewhat familiar with his biological father, but has no father-son relationship with him. John’s father has not been consistent in his life due to alcohol use and incarceration. Shelley often worries how John will be affected by growing up without a father, especially because Shelley was also raised fatherless and has faced many hurdles concerning this void. Shelley has spoken with John many times about her concerns; however, John claims that his father’s absence is not a big ordeal. Recently, Shelley has noticed John’s increased anger, decrease in grades, and increased aggression. The issues mentioned previously are just a few examples exhibited by fatherless children. Let’s discuss how the absence of fathers affects children, the importance of why we need to address the issues of absent fathers, discuss the barriers that father’s face and the possible outcomes when they become actively engaged in their children’s lives.
According to Blankenhorn (1995), half of our nation’s children are expected to spend at least a substantial part of their childhood separated from their fathers. The effect of an absent father for any reason causes an increase in crime, imprisonment, child abuse, use of drugs and alcohol, sexual activity and teen pregnancy. Fatherless children also experience a decrease in education performance and impulse control (Blankenhorn, 1995).
Fatherless children are at increased risk for engagement in criminal behavior, especially boys because they are seeking a sense of masculinity. Boys feel that they have to prove themselves through participating in criminal activity, which leads to imprisonment. Fatherless children are also at an increased risk of suffering abuse because they are often left with babysitters, family members, family friends, friends and/or neighbors while mother’s work. If a child has been abused and chooses to suppress the issue, the unresolved inner issues tend to manifest itself through drugs and/or alcohol use. Absence of a father in the home drastically affects the actions of adolescents and results in greater use of alcohol and marijuana (Berman, 1995).
Similar to drugs and alcohol being used to repress negative feelings, sexual activity is also used in the same fashion. Fatherless children, particularly females, use sexual activity as a means to fill a void and satisfy their desire to be loved by a male figure. Participation in sexual activity increases the risk for teen pregnancy. Fatherless girls also experience pregnancy due to a decrease in impulse control. They tend to seek instant gratification without rationalizing the ramifications. Teen pregnancy can also decrease the academic performance of the fatherless child. The child eventually becomes preoccupied with the pregnancy and future plans and may stop performing affectively in his/her school work, which will result in a decrease in grades and ultimately lead to the child discontinuing school. Now that you are aware of the many issues encountered by fatherless children, let’s discuss possible solutions.
You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Well the solution is quite simple: Active Fathers”. Well, unfortunately, although that solution sounds easy, it is not as easy as it seems. In today’s society, fathers seem to face many obstacles that are blocking them from being active fathers. For example, you have mothers who interfere with the father-child relationship. You also may have an instance where a father has turned to the courts for help just to be let down by our judicial system. There are also issues where there is a father who is trying to be active; however, the mother has filed paperwork for child support thus encouraging the father to flee the system. With today’s economy, the father may be unable to pay his court ordered support and therefore, ends up in jail. There are situations where you have those fathers who refuse to be active in their child’s life. I feel the bigger issue that needs to be addressed however is the value of fathers. If fathers were valued in society, you would not have mothers who interfere with the father-child relationship, nor a judicial system that exhibits favoritism toward the mother at the father’s expense.
There needs to be a change, not only in the judicial system, but also in public policies, state legislation, federal law, organizational mission, leaders, government, and most importantly within individuals. Fathers who are absent by choice typically stay away because they feel that their child is better without them or they lack the knowledge of how to be a father. I feel it is a necessity to have training and mentoring programs for fathers. The programs main focus should be to develop the father’s attitude, skills and knowledge surrounding fatherhood by individuals certified to engage with fathers. Providing support to the fathers can begin this process. Support will give the fathers an outlet; give them someone to go to in time of need, some to look to for guidance as well as a listening ear when frustration arises. One of the ways programs can improve the skills and knowledge of a father is to include GED and/or continuing education training for fathers in the program. This will allow fathers who are finding it hard to find employment due to lack of education to improve. The biggest challenge for any program will be to change the attitudes of the fathers. However, I suggest that programs focus on development of communication skills. This will allow the fathers to learn how to effectively express themselves. Although programs are not the fix to everything it is a start in the right direction.
Mother’s although we cannot solve the absence of fathers or the problems that our child face by the absence of their father, it is important as a parent to start somewhere and you can start small by giving fathers the opportunity by first forgiving and second encouraging the father to spend time and be active in your child’s life. This may seem as a small thing to do but it may be just enough encouragement to push the father to take that step and be active in your child’s life. By providing this opportunity and showing the father you value his role; you are enriching fatherhood and at the same time enhance the future of children. On a grander scale, you are improving generations to come, our communities, our society and America as a whole.
-By A. Hearn (Masters of Science in Social Work)
References:
Blankenhorn, D. (1995). Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem. New York, NY: Harpers Collins Publisher.
Berman, D. S. (1995). Risk Factors Leading to Adolescent Substance Abuse. Adolescence (30)
